Why I write when I write

"Melissa, why don't you write more often? You haven't updated your blog in months."

Most people who actually read my blog check out a few posts occasionally when I put the link on Facebook or Twitter in hopes that someone will actually care what I have to say. Few people actually follow me and constantly check back for updates, but for those that do they're constantly asking me that question: "why don't you write more often?"

Usually I tell them it's because I'm just too busy, and honestly that's true. I just graduated high school, and as easy as most people say second semester senior year is, it's not. At all. Whoever came up with that lied. So naturally, now that it's summer and I have no obligations I'm going to start writing new posts so often you'll barely be able to keep up right? Wrong.

Being busy isn't even half of it (ok so it's one out of two reasons, but it's not proportionate so it's not really half.) As much as I wish I could just sit down and write something that I feel is worthy of actually being published, I can't. Something has to make me want to write.

There's a reason I don't write fiction. Because everything I find worth writing is something I'm personally passionate about. I write things from my heart, so that anyone who reads it can get to know me a little bit better. I can't just make things up. And because I write about things I'm passionate about, I can't just write about anything.

When I'm really, genuinely passionate and excited about what I'm writing I can go on forever and sometimes it feels like the words just won't stop. But when I'm not excited.... I just get stuck. I have no idea what to say. The words stop coming. Nothing sounds right. It's not even worth reading.

Right now I have a note on my phone with a long list of things I'm excited about that I didn't have time to write about when I thought of it. Hopefully now that I have more free time I can finally catch up on that list. But once I get through that list, the posts will come whenever I'm inspired.

So next time you're wondering "why hasn't Melissa updated her blog recently?" that's why.

~Melissa Tamar

p.s. this is for you Max, for always asking.