The Wrong Way

"I don't do wrong things in life, I just carry out the right things in life in the wrong way"

If I had to name one thing that I think everyone should strive to do it would be doing the right thing. Hold the door open for people. Pick up trash when you see it. Don't say offensive things. Do your part. I don't think many people intentionally try to do the wrong thing, but if they didn't why do so many things still seem to go wrong? Probably not because we do the wrong things, but because we do the right things in the wrong way. 

I found this quote on my Facebook the other day after someone posted it as their status. Amidst a sea of mundane stati this one stood out to me, and I think it did because the person who posted it is someone that I've spent a few months thinking of as someone who did the wrong thing. 

I don't really need to tell the whole story, so I'll just say this: I really liked this person, and as far as I know, they really liked me. In the end, things didn't work out because we didn't get to see each other often and communication wasn't exactly his strong suit. We stopped talking completely for a long time and I spent the entire four months of silence mad at him for not trying harder. I got over it enough to talk to him again, but vowed to never be the one to start the conversation, because that way I could never be the one that got ignored. 

Looking at the whole situation from the point of view that we did the right thing in the wrong way changes everything. 

I realize now that he didn't do the wrong thing. He was just being honest with himself and with me that things weren't going to work. He just did it the wrong way. 

He probably could have just said "Melissa, this isn't working." or "This is going to be too hard." He could have just been honest. But really, he was being honest. He was just being honest the wrong way.

I probably could have done things differently too. I could have tried harder to communicate instead of leaving it up to him. I could have listened when he said it would be hard. I thought I was doing the right thing by trying to protect myself from getting hurt. I truly think protecting myself was the right thing to do. I just did it the wrong way. 

Just in case he's reading this, I'm sure you know who you are, and there's one thing that I want to say: I forgive you. I forgive you for not talking to me. I forgive you for being honest with me that us being "us" was going to be too hard. I forgive you for anything and everything that I was mad at you about. I forgive you because I know you tried to do the right thing, and that maybe we both just did things the wrong way. And I hope you can forgive me for being mad at you for so long. 

"I don't do wrong things in life, I just carry out the right things in life in the wrong way"

~Melissa Tamar

To the people of Palmer High School

You may know me as the 2012/2013 school year special events editor, the 2012/2011 features editor and a 2011/2010 school year staff writer for the Lever.

If you read the December issue of Lever, which you probably did if you found my blog, you know that I said my New Years Resolution was to blog more often. If you read the last post on here, appropriately titled "Resolutions," you will see that this actually isn't my main, or my only resolution. It is, however, the one I will be keeping you updated on in the Lever. Of course, you can always stay updated here by seeing if I post anything.

If you did actually find this blog by reading the Lever, let me just say this: I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU. Not only for reading the Lever but for following up on what you read.

Just a quick reminder though: this blog is 100% my own. These are my opinions, my thoughts, and my ideas. Yes I write for Lever and I wrote about this blog in Lever, but it is in fact my blog. If you disagree with something I say, have a question or a comment, do not take it up with Lever, take it up with me. This blog holds my personal opinions, which are not in any way meant to express the opinions of Lever.

Once again, if you got here by reading my article for Lever's New Years Resolution, I LOVE YOU.

Hope you enjoy my blog, because if you're reading this, I enjoy YOU!

~Melissa Tamar

Resolutions.

Every year I halfheartedly pick a New Year's Resolution because I feel obligated to. Every year, like most of the world, I give up within the first week of the year.

This year is different though. This year I didn't start on my resolution the second the ball dropped. I didn't even make one until a few days later. This year is also different in the fact that my resolution isn't something that can be strictly measured or something I can really fail at. This year, whether it's to a great extent or a little one, I can actually accomplish my resolution.

To be the best version of myself that I can possibly be.

Ok so this sounds a little vague. How do I know what the best version of myself is? How do I get there? How do I measure that?
That's the point of this resolution though. I don't know yet what the best version of myself is, but as long as I strive to be that, I will at least be a better version of myself, and that is all I can ask for.

I don't know yet what it means or how to be the best version of myself.

It could mean taking better care of myself: eating right, working out, flossing more often.
It could mean moving on from the past: stop holding grudges, forgive people, live in the present.
It could mean being less lazy and more helpful: doing my chores, watching less tv.

It could honestly mean any or all of those things. I don't know yet, but I plan to find out this year, and for many years to come.

From this day forward, I, Melissa Tamar Oxenhandler, am going to be the absolute best version of myself I could possibly be.

Here's my second resolution: to blog more often.

Hopefully in my effort to be a better me I will come across some blog worthy moments, which means every accomplishment I make in my resolution will end up right here, so keep (or start) reading to find out how I do.

~Melissa Tamar