I like to think that I am a genuinely nice person, and I try to see the best in people at all times. I put up with a lot from people before I decide they're just too much for me to handle. There is one thing though, that gets on my last nerve just about as quickly as possible. One thing that people do that I will absolutely not tolerate.
When people talk crap about my friends right in front of me.
We all have people in life that we're going to clash with. I certainly have a few. The important thing is how we choose to deal with them. And allow me to be the one to tell you that discussing how much you don't like someone in an incredibly public place is not exactly the classiest way to go about disliking them.
I fully understand the need to vent about your negative feelings towards certain people, but you have to be careful where you do it. Talk to your best friend, talk to your mom, talk to yourself, but don't talk to anyone and everyone who will listen (or who will overhear.)
One day sophomore year I heard someone talking to their friend about how much they hated one of my best friends. I would like to think she wasn't purposefully talking about it so that I could hear, but I was sitting right in front of her so there is really no way she didn't know that I could hear her repeatedly saying my best friend was "full of herself" and "a hypocrite" and "such a bitch."
I have barely spoken two words to that girl since sophomore year, because every time I see her I think of everything she said when she knew I was listening.
Recently another one of my close friends has been the subject of a lot of negative conversations that I've overheard. I know the people talking about her don't realize that there are people around who know and care about her, but that doesn't change the fact that going around talking about how much you don't like someone is never the right thing to do.
As far as I'm concerned there are two things you can do when you truly have a problem with someone:
1. Tell it to their face. Stop sneaking around behind their backs talking about them and confront them about whatever it is you have a problem with.
2. Keep it to yourself. Not everyone needs to know if and why you don't like someone. If you really need to vent then pick one person to vent to and do it in private. You never know who is within hearing distance.
I have zero tolerance for people who think it's okay to talk about my friends in front of me.
If you have a problem with someone, you don't need to share it with everyone, and you certainly don't need to share it with that persons friends.
~Melissa Tamar
